How to Conduct a Performance Review Meeting (What to Say + Real Examples)

In many organizations, reviews still miss the mark. Gallup found that only 14% of employees strongly agree that their performance reviews inspire them to improve, which means most review conversations are leaving people disengaged instead of energized. That’s why how you conduct the conversation matters just as much as what you say.

In this blog below, you’ll learn exactly how to prepare, structure, and run a performance review meeting so it feels more like a focused coaching session and less like a painful formality.

How to Prepare for a Performance Review Meeting

A great performance review meeting actually starts days or weeks before you sit down with your employee. If you walk into the room with only a vague sense of how the person did, the conversation will feel fuzzy, unfair, and emotionally heavy for both of you. Good preparation makes the review calmer, more objective, and more useful.

If you want a checklist-style walkthrough of this prep phase, this article on how to prepare for a performance review breaks it down from both the manager and employee perspective.

1. Review Past Goals and KPIs

Before anything else, go back to the goals, KPIs, and expectations you agreed on at the start of the review period and assess how the employee performed against each one. This keeps the conversation anchored in outcomes, not vague impressions or recent memories. It also helps you avoid recency bias, where the last 30 days start to overshadow the previous 11 months.​

Ask yourself:

• What did they actually deliver, in numbers or clear outcomes?
• Where did they exceed expectations?
• Where did they fall short, and why?

When performance reviews are grounded in specific goals and metrics, employees are more likely to see the process as fair and tied to real work, not favoritism.​

2. Collect Concrete Examples

Abstract feedback like “be more proactive” or “communicate better” feels confusing and, at times, unfair. To avoid this, gather 3–5 concrete examples that illustrate both strengths and growth areas: specific projects, client interactions, deadlines, or collaborations.

These examples matter because:

• They show that you’ve genuinely been paying attention.
• They reduce the chance of bias or emotional reactions based on a single incident.
• They make it easier to turn feedback into actionable next steps.

Behavioral psychology shows that people respond better to feedback when it is specific, observable, and tied to real situations rather than labels about their personality.

3. Ask Employees to Complete a Self-Evaluation

Before the meeting, ask your employee to fill out a simple self-evaluation that reflects on their achievements, challenges, and goals. This might include rating themselves on key competencies, listing major wins, and sharing what they wish they’d handled differently.

Why this works:

• It shifts the conversation from “I’m judging you” to “Let’s reflect together.”
• It reveals how self-aware they are about their own performance.
• It gives you a starting point: you can compare your view with theirs and explore any gaps.

Research on psychological safety shows that when employees can safely share their perspective, they are more open to hearing difficult feedback and more willing to engage in problem-solving.

If you ever get stuck finding the right wording, this collection of performance review example phrases can spark language that’s both clear and respectful.

4. Identify Growth Themes, Not Just Gaps

Instead of only listing what went wrong, look for 2–3 growth themes that can guide the next review cycle — for example: “strategic thinking,” “delegation,” or “stakeholder communication.” Group your observations and examples under these themes.

This helps you:

• Avoid overwhelming the employee with a long list of tiny issues.
• Connect feedback to a meaningful development path.
• Make it easier to co-create a focused development plan.

Employees are more engaged when feedback connects their day-to-day work with long-term development and career progression, not just this year’s rating.

5. Anticipate Difficult Conversations

Almost every review has at least one tricky area: a missed target, behavior issue, promotion that didn’t happen, or tension with a teammate. Take time to script — even roughly — how you’ll bring up these sensitive topics and the key messages you want to land.

Ask yourself:

• What might be hardest for them to hear?
• Where might they get defensive or emotional?
• What data and examples do I need to have ready?

Managers who prepare for emotional reactions are less likely to become defensive themselves, and more likely to keep the conversation grounded, respectful, and solutions-focused. You don’t have to rehearse every word, but you should walk in with a clear, calm frame: “I’m here to help this person succeed, even if this part of the conversation is uncomfortable.”​

If you’re managing managers and need to model how to tackle these tougher review moments, you’ll find useful language and framing ideas in these manager performance review examples, which show how to balance accountability with support.

Step-by-Step Flow of conducting a 60-Minute Performance Review Meeting

You don’t need a complicated framework to run a strong review — you just need a simple, repeatable flow. Here’s a realistic 60-minute structure you can follow for most performance review meetings.

0–5 Minutes: Warm-Up and Framing

Use the first few minutes to make the conversation feel human, not like a courtroom.

• Thank them for their time and work over the period.
• Re-state the purpose: “Today is about understanding how the last cycle went, what you’re proud of, where we can support your growth, and what we’ll focus on next.”

This sets expectations and lowers anxiety, which is crucial because many employees walk into reviews braced for criticism.​

5–15 Minutes: Employee Self-Reflection

Ask the employee to go first.

• “How do you feel this period went overall?”
• “What are you most proud of?”
• “What do you wish had gone differently?”

Letting them speak first gives you insight into their self-awareness and priorities, and immediately makes the conversation more balanced instead of top-down.​

15–35 Minutes: Manager Feedback and Discussion

Now share your perspective, weaving in both strengths and development areas.

• Start with specific wins tied to their goals.
• Then move into 2–3 growth themes, backed by clear examples.
• Ask follow-up questions: “How does that land with you?” “What do you see from your side?”

Structuring feedback this way keeps the conversation from turning into a monologue and helps the employee feel like a partner in the evaluation, not a passive recipient.

35–50 Minutes: Future Focus, Goals, and Development

Shift the discussion from “What happened?” to “What’s next?”

• Align on 2–4 key goals for the next period.
• Identify skills they want to build and support they’ll need (training, mentoring, stretch projects).
• Clarify expectations: outcomes, behaviors, timelines.

Employees are far more motivated when reviews end with a clear, forward-looking plan rather than just a backward-looking judgment.

50–55 Minutes: Employee Questions and Feedback on the Process

Invite the employee to share feedback about the review itself.

• “What would make this process more helpful for you next time?”
• “Is there anything we didn’t cover that you were hoping to talk about?”

This reinforces psychological safety and improves future review cycles.​

55–60 Minutes: Clear Close and Next Steps

End with clarity.

• Summarize main points you both agreed on.
• Recap the top 3 next steps and confirm who owns what.
• Share when they can expect written notes or follow-ups.

A crisp ending prevents misunderstandings and signals that the conversation is the beginning of an ongoing development cycle, not a one-off verdict.​

What to Say in a Performance Review Meeting (With Real Dialogue)

Words matter, especially in high-stakes conversations. Below are realistic, conversational scripts you can adapt — not to memorize, but to use as a guide for your own voice.

1. Opening the Conversation

Instead of diving straight into ratings or forms, loosen the tension first.

• “Thanks for taking the time for this today. Before we get into details, I’d love to hear how you feel this period went — what are you most proud of?”
• “This conversation is about looking at the last cycle honestly and then making sure the next one sets you up for success. My goal is to be transparent and supportive, not to surprise you.”

This kind of opening frames the meeting as a partnership instead of an interrogation.​

2. Delivering Strong Positive Feedback

When someone performs well, be specific and generous — vague praise doesn’t land.

• “One thing I really appreciate is how you handled the Q3 launch. You coordinated across marketing and product, kept the deadlines tight, and still left room for the team to raise concerns early. That had a big impact on us hitting the target.”
• “You’ve become a go-to person for new team members. I’ve noticed people asking you for help, and you make time without dropping your own priorities — that kind of support really shapes our culture.”

Specific positive feedback reinforces the behaviors you want repeated.​

3. Addressing Missed Goals

This is where many managers either soften too much or become too harsh. You want to be clear, fair, and forward-looking.

• “We set a goal of closing five enterprise deals this quarter and ended at three. I know the pipeline shifted, but we still need to talk about what got in the way and what we can adjust for next quarter. How do you see it?”
• “The response times on customer tickets were consistently outside our SLA. I’m not bringing this up to blame, but to understand what made it hard and what support or process changes might help you deliver more consistently.”

Here, you’re naming the gap clearly, but you’re also inviting explanation and problem-solving.​

4. Handling Defensiveness

Defensiveness is normal. Your job is to keep the conversation safe and curious, not to “win” the argument.

If they get defensive:

• “I can see this feels frustrating, and that makes sense. I’m not saying you didn’t work hard. I’m saying we need to understand what led to these results so we can get you where you want to be. Can we walk through one example together?”
• “I hear that you disagree with this part of the feedback. Let’s slow down and look at the specific situations I’m referring to, and then I’m open to hearing what I might be missing.”

This acknowledges emotion without backing away from the message.​

5. Discussing Promotion Readiness

Promotion conversations can easily backfire if you’re vague.

If they are ready:

• “Based on your performance this year — especially leading the X project and mentoring newer teammates — I believe you’re ready for the next level. The next step is aligning with HR and leadership on timing, but I want you to know you’re operating at that level now.”

If they aren’t ready yet:

• “I know you’re eager for a promotion, and I appreciate that ambition. Right now, there are a couple of gaps between where you are and what we expect at the next level — especially around owning cross-functional projects and influencing stakeholders. I want us to build a clear plan so you know exactly what ‘ready’ looks like.”

This keeps the door open and gives them a roadmap instead of a dead end.​

6. Navigating Compensation Expectations

Money conversations are sensitive, but dodging them erodes trust.

• “Let’s talk about compensation, because I know it’s important. This cycle, the adjustment is X%. I understand you were hoping for more. The key factors were company budget, market range for the role, and internal parity. I’m happy to walk through those so it feels transparent, even if you’re disappointed.”
• “While we can’t make the full adjustment you’re looking for this cycle, we can agree on the performance and scope milestones that would support a stronger case in the next review. Let’s define those clearly so you know what you’re working toward.”

Honest, respectful explanations help preserve psychological safety even when the outcome isn’t what they wanted.​

7. Closing the Meeting Clearly

Don’t end with “Any questions?” and walk out.

• “To recap, we agreed on three main focuses for the next cycle: improving response times, leading the next product rollout, and carving out time for your leadership development course. I’ll send a quick summary, and we’ll set a check-in in 6 weeks to see how things are going. How does that sound?”
• “Is there anything you wish we had talked about today that we didn’t? I want to make sure you leave with clarity, even if not everything is perfect.”

A clear close signals respect — and makes follow-through much easier later.​

Why Performance Review Meetings Often Fail

Many performance reviews fail not because managers don’t care, but because the process unintentionally clashes with how people think and feel at work. Behavioral and organizational psychology offer a few explanations that are especially helpful for managers.

• Lack of psychological safety: If employees expect punishment, blame, or vague criticism, they will naturally shut down or say the “safe” thing instead of the honest thing. This makes the review feel fake and blocks real improvement. Reviews work far better when they’re part of a feedback culture where people feel safe admitting mistakes and asking for help.
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• Feedback bias and vague criteria: When criteria are unclear, managers rely on impressions — who they like, who is most visible, or who works in the office — which creates bias. SHRM and others have highlighted how annual reviews often reinforce favoritism and recency bias, especially in traditional processes.
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• Emotional reactions and identity threat: Performance feedback can feel like a judgment on someone’s identity, not just their work. If you tell someone “you’re not strategic,” they may experience it as a threat to their competence and worth, triggering defensiveness. Specific, behavior-based feedback is less likely to provoke this reaction.​
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• Lack of continuous feedback: When feedback is saved up for once or twice a year, everything feels heavier. Employees feel blindsided, and managers feel pressure to “cram” a year’s worth of conversation into an hour. Gallup’s research shows that frequent, meaningful feedback throughout the year is strongly linked to higher engagement and better performance.
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• Mismatched communication styles: A very direct manager paired with a more sensitive or reflective employee (or vice versa) can create friction. Without awareness of different communication preferences, reviews can feel “cold” or, on the other side, “too soft and unclear,” leaving everyone frustrated.​

When managers intentionally design reviews to be psychologically safe, specific, and part of an ongoing dialogue, the same meeting format that once felt painful can become one of the most valuable conversations of the year.

Common Mistakes to Avoid in a Performance Review Meeting

Even experienced managers fall into predictable traps. Here are key mistakes, why they happen, and how to fix them.

1. Saving All Feedback for the Review
   • Why it happens: Busy schedules, discomfort with tough conversations, or over-reliance on “the annual review” as the main feedback moment.​
   • Why it hurts: Employees feel blindsided and may lose trust, wondering why they weren’t told earlier when they could still fix things.
   • How to fix: Share feedback in real-time or in regular 1:1s, and use the review to connect the dots, not to deliver surprises.
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2. Being Vague and General
   • Why it happens: Lack of preparation or fear of hurting feelings, so managers default to “You need to improve communication” without examples.​
   • Why it hurts: Vague feedback doesn’t tell employees what to do differently, which creates anxiety and learned helplessness.
   • How to fix: Come with specific examples and clear next steps; use phrases like “In [situation], here’s what I observed and what would work better next time.”
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3. Over-Focusing on Recent Events (Recency Bias)
   • Why it happens: It’s simply easier to remember the last 30–60 days than the full year.​
   • Why it hurts: Someone who had one bad month after 11 strong ones might get an unfairly negative review, or vice versa.
   • How to fix: Review notes, goals, and outcomes from the entire period, and keep a lightweight performance log throughout the year.
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4. Talking 80–90% of the Time
   • Why it happens: Managers feel pressured to “deliver” all their feedback and end up lecturing.
   • Why it hurts: Employees feel like they’re being talked at, not collaborated with, and you miss valuable context from their side.
   • How to fix: Intentionally structure the flow so the employee speaks first, and regularly ask, “How do you see it?” or “What’s your perspective on this?”
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5. Avoiding Tough Topics
   • Why it happens: Fear of confrontation, not wanting to upset the person, or hoping issues will “work themselves out.”​
   • Why it hurts: Problems fester and become bigger performance or culture issues later; high performers may also feel frustrated if low performance is tolerated.
   • How to fix: Prepare for hard conversations, use calm and clear language, and focus on behaviors and impact, not on character.​
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6. Ignoring Emotions in the Room
   • Why it happens: Some managers treat the review like a purely rational process and push through even when they see the employee shutting down.
   • Why it hurts: When emotions are ignored, people stop listening and start protecting themselves. The content of the feedback gets lost.
   • How to fix: Notice emotional cues and name them gently: “I can see this is landing heavily — do you want a moment, or should we unpack what feels hardest about this?”​
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7. No Clear Next Steps or Follow-Up
   • Why it happens: Time runs out, or there’s an assumption that “the form is enough.”
   • Why it hurts: Without specific next steps, development plans get forgotten and the review loses credibility.
   • How to fix: End every review with 3–5 concrete actions, owners, and timelines — and schedule the next check-in on the spot

9 Tips to Conduct Effective Performance Review Meetings

• Pick a calm, private space so the review feels like a genuine conversation, not an interrogation.
• Choose the review format deliberately — whether it’s 360 feedback, rating scales, or narrative comments — based on what you actually want to discuss and measure.
• Lead with open-ended questions that invite self-reflection, so employees feel heard instead of feeling like they’re on trial.
• Keep expectations and criteria crystal clear, tying goals back to their role, their growth, and the organization’s priorities.
• Turn every piece of feedback into something actionable, with concrete examples and clear “here’s what to try next time.”
• Listen like you mean it, giving employees space to share their side before you jump in with your perspective.
• Use constructive, forward-looking language when you talk about gaps, focusing on what can change rather than just what went wrong.
• Stick to true 1:1 conversations, not group reviews, so people feel respected and safe enough to be honest.
• Call out exceptional work specifically, connecting the recognition to the exact behaviors and impact you want them to keep repeating.

How to Conduct a Performance Review Meeting with ThriveSparrow

ThriveSparrow makes performance reviews simpler and more effective by guiding you through each stage:

Step 1: Set Clear Goals and Track Progress:

‍Define specific goals and KPIs at the start of the review period, and ThriveSparrow automatically tracks progress throughout the cycle — so you're never starting from scratch.

Step 2: Gather Multi-Source Feedback:

‍Collect self-evaluations, peer feedback, and manager observations all in one place, giving you a complete picture instead of relying on memory or recent impressions.

Step 3: Identify Growth Themes Automatically:

‍The platform analyzes feedback patterns and highlights key development areas, helping you focus on 2–3 meaningful growth themes instead of overwhelming employees with scattered critiques.

Step 4: Walk Into the Meeting Fully Prepared:

‍Pull up real-time performance data, concrete examples, and structured feedback right before the conversation — no more scrambling through emails or notes.

Step 5: Create Actionable Development Plans:

‍Turn feedback into clear, trackable next steps that employees can access and update anytime, making follow-through easier and keeping personal development plans on track between reviews.

First performance review coming up? ThriveSparrow has your back with templates, reminders, and real-time feedback — so you lead like a pro from day one. Get your 14-day free trial today.

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Preparation is Key

No matter how many times you have conducted a performance review, preparation is always necessary.

To take things to the next level, ThriveSparrow can help you with customized employee feedback and performance review surveys. It is a great way to understand how employees feel about certain topics and what changes could be made to the performance review to make it even more effective.

Investing in the right tool like ThriveSparrow can help catapult the growth of your organization to many levels.